Taking the Reins

I remember an episode of Little House on the Prairie.  Dr.  Baker had lost a patient and was blaming himself.  He decided that being a doctor just wasn’t for him anymore…  he decided he would take up farming.  The scene I remember is when he has this team of horses and is trying to plow up the land.  The horses were zig-zaging back and forth as he desperately used the reigns to try to steer them while holding the plow. 

Before you know it, little Laura Ingalls comes skipping by.  “what’cha  doin’ Doc. Baker?”  He explains the situation, and that he just can’t get the horses to go in a strait line.  (by this time he was just drenched with sweat from struggling against the horses.)   “Aw, that’s easy Doc. Baker.”  So- Little Laura Ingalls proceeds to help out Doc Baker.  She flops the reigns over her neck and says “get up” with her hands to the plow.  Immediately the horses plow down and back, a perfectly strait line.

This year has been full of many struggles for our family.  It seems like we have lived through many months of one trauma after another.  I remember one particular night sleeping on a hospital couch.  I honestly can’t remember what city I was even in anymore… Maybe Achorage, maybe Seattle.  But I remember seriously thinking, “I could just leave.”  I thought it was too much for me.  I wanted to just walk out.  Leave that hospital.  I don’t think I really cared what happened to me. 

Then I had a moment of clarity.  I saw the future play before my eyes like a movie.  It was grim. 

I remember committing my newborn daughter into God’s hands, realizing that I was helpless to keep her breathing.   When I finally came to that point, I realized she was never anything but a Gift from God anyway…  and if he took her back- it was his choice.  I’m glad she is still with us, and that God put amazing medical professionals in our life to keep her alive.  I am glad I get to keep her as a gift on loan for a while.  We met people along the way that had much greater struggles than we did. 

So, I guess that image of Doc Baker plowing with that team of horses just keeps popping into my mind for a reason.  Constantly trying to steer our own lives only results in messed up results.  But, giving the reins to God allows Him to steer our course.  The lines become strait so the crops can grow. 

See, God is like the horse out front.  He does all of the work (no matter what the size of the person minding the plow).  This also reminds me of Matthew 11:28-29

"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. "Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS.…

There is no burden too heavy to release into the hands of God.  

You see, so many people try to tell me “God doesn’t give us too much to bear”.  Then they immediately go to 1 Corinthians  10:13 which says.” No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.”

But when you really actually read this and seek understanding of it- you can see that It is telling us that we can overcome temptation,  This is not specifically talking about any general trial in your life,  It IS talking about victory over sin. 

So, what I am saying is…  God DOES give us more than we can handle.  I honestly have more than I can handle most days.  I guess that’s not hard to imagine with a family that has 4 kids and a dog.  I think having more than we can handle is actually a normal part of life.  So really, let’s not keep on with the false pretense that we aren’t given more than we can handle.  Really, all that does is make a person pull themselves up by the boot straps.  “ I can get through this.  I am a strong person.” 

See- because we humans aren’t actually meant to “handle it” on our own.  In my whole life God keeps bringing me to this.  “You can’t handle it, let ME handle it”.  I think that message is backed up by Paul in Philippians 4:13 when he says, “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me”

Instead of being strong in myself, I have had to become very weak.  That means I make myself vulnerable and humble to allow God to work in the ways He wants to work.  Even if I can’t understand it, I allow him to do the work, and me to put the reins across my neck.  If I continue to struggle and take the load on my self…  I only end up a sweaty mess without any good results, like Doc. Baker.