Dropping your nets...

Matthew 4:18-22


18 Now as Jesus was walking by the Sea of Galilee, He saw two brothers, Simon who was called Peter, and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea; for they were fishermen.19 And He *said to them, “Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.” 20 Immediately they left their nets and followed Him. 21 Going on from there He saw two other brothers, James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother, in the boat with Zebedee their father, mending their nets; and He called them. 22 Immediately they left the boat and their father, and followed Him.

Their nets, their daily labor alongside family.

And I wonder, how their heart must have jumped when He said, "Follow me..." And they immediately left. 

The boat

Their father

I stop to consider... Although it was an immediate obedient reaction, it likely did not come without emotion. 

To leave

The familiar of the sea, 

the familiar of home family and friends. 

And here I am,

Dropping the physical things of this world. 

It took me two weeks to paack the necessities in these tubs, 

It wasn't without emotion.

Dropping your nets doesn't get much more real than this.

They'll be waiting for me over 3,000 miles away.

And since we are leaving the farm... 

I wonder...

If Christ would say to me...

I will make you sowers of men

Seeds of truth in hearts

And we stand up and walk away from the corn now just coming up...

My heart aches with emotion of the hearth, the family, the home... being left behind.

And jumps, in awe of His kingdom coming.

Thank You Mom...

This is the way I’ll always remember you mom.  The photos are marked with holes from the tack board, and they are quite old…  But this is how my memory preserves you.

Many people love growing things in the garden.  You enjoyed watching children grow.  Your years in the classroom brought you across many students.  Children of all races, colors, genders and economic conditions, found “their place” in your classroom.  Thank you.

Although the state separates religion from the public schools, this didn’t keep you from “laying your hands” on students in prayer as you (silently) walked them down the hallway to music or gym class.  Thank you.

Your love for students and learning grew a passion in me to care for others.  This passion continues to grow in Christ to this day.  Thank you.

I know your unending prayers carried me through good times and bad.  I only hope I pray enough over my own children.  I know you tried to lead me down the right path so many times, and when I wouldn’t listen; you prayed.  You opened the gates of heaven with your prayers.  God listened, and continues to listen.  Thank you.

I remember my first day of teaching.  You sent me a gift and a card.  I meant so much to me.  I kept that card tacked to my bulletin board for the whole year.  Whenever I was having a hard day I just looked at the “smiley face card.”  Whenever I stepped into my classroom to begin praying over my room and my students before school began, I saw the “smiley face card”.  It seems kind of silly now- but thank you for the “smiley face card.”  Thank you.

Thank you for all the things big and small that you did to make life good for our family.  Thank you for sacrificing, even when I had no idea that is what was happening.

Thank you for taking us to church and helping us learn about the love of God, through family devotions and by living it out as a teacher, mom, and wife.

Love you mom. 

-Jenni

My mom and her classroom teaching friends from years ago.

open wide

I used to walk around…

Dazed and confused…

I had dulled the pain long ago,

Spinning a cocoon around bout,

Letting no one in. 

It was quiet in my life-

I rather liked it there…

In that comfortable space

It took so much healing… 

So much time and energy into that healing...

It almost burst some of my friends wide open to see me face the pain.

The pain that comes with living life but burying so much so deep

And letting no one in.

But in facing pain

We find re-birth

I found more of myself than I knew existed.

And I realized

Life isn’t meant to be lived in a cocoon

With walls so high no one can enter.

Life is meant to be lived in love

For in sharing

In caring

God uses the hurt to grow beauty

To find the same hurt in another-

And suddenly 4 hands are reaching for Him where only 2 were before.

I once thought the cocoon and the walls would protect my heart

But they only made it hurt worse.

Open arms

With open hearts

They are what brings healing-

It reminds me of the open arms

Nailed wide

Blood mingled and flowed

Hearts burst with pain

To purchase the once and for all healing

Hope

Mingled down

From Arms 

Open Wide

Puzzle

I haven't written in a while.

The days have been long, and over full in many ways. I have been wanting to write this for weeks now... and here it is, a moment carved out to write this down.

It was over a month ago, when we gathered together at church. Once a year we do this thing called "Leadership Team Retreat". It is a time... of reflecting... a time for looking ahead. A time to sit and hear the voice of God... a time to sit and hear the voice of the body.

And one question that was asked... 

What is the Body of Christ?

This gave time for deep thought. The body is lead by the Holy Spirit, the body of Christ is the bide to Christ. We come together, to sharpen each other. We go out, built up in Christ because we are together One. 

Proverbs 27:17

Iron sharpens iron, 

So one man sharpens another.

If you leave, and are not sharpened... you are unprepared for what you face. Lone rangers, they never fare well. 

And the body is all of these things indeed. 

But I dug deeper... deeper into the "need" for man to come together. The need to be perfectly fit together, just as Christ created us. Each with unique spiritual gifts that interlock in a way that make us whole when we are together. But- when not interlocked- we seem so unfulfilled... so... lost at times.

And a picture was drawn clearly in my head. 

How we are a picture of beauty when we are together. Whole... complete. complimenting each other... like this puzzle.

He sees us this way you know?

Interlocked

functioning together in His will.

A beautiful picture.

How often do we look like this in our body?

Each wanting to be top, knowing best.

Not wanting to connect... 

For fear that someone might have a revelation that is too much to bear...

For fear that we might have to connect in a way that is intimate...

We who know no listening or submitting, know not the beauty we miss out on being one in community.

Ephesians 5:18ff

be filled with the Spirit, 19 speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord; 20 always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father; 21 and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.

but there we stand, 

Stacked on top of one another

Refusing to link arms

looking for blame

Allowing hurt to guide our heart instead of Christ being the center of connection between all of our great strengths. 

Then I think... so many times we look like this. 

Wondering, where we fit in... 

what to do. 

Pointing fingers in blame, 

or just not wanting to be the beautiful person God made us to be in the first place.

1 Corintians 12: 

On the contrary, it is much truer that the members of the body which seem to be weaker are necessary; 23 and those members of the body which we deem less honorable, on these we bestow more abundant honor, and our less presentable members become much more presentable, 24 whereas our more presentable members have no need of it. But God has so composed the body, giving more abundant honor to that member which lacked, 25 so that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. 26 And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it. 

So few know... 

How miraculously beautiful it can be.

And how perfectly He made us to function this way.

To be a complete picture pointing others to Christ.

If we knew the beauty of it, in a deep way within our being... 

We would scramble to church

to be connected.

To small groups, 

To a friend's house,

To go out together by twos

to fulfill the final words Christ ever gave to us before ascending.

Matthew 18

16 But the eleven disciples proceeded to Galilee, to the mountain which Jesus had designated. 17 When they saw Him, they worshiped Him; but some were doubtful. 18 And Jesus came up and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” 

So the image of the body is not just for sitting around looking like a beautiful picture, 

but is to be put to the test as we go out. 

To point others back to Christ, to teach and build up and grow together in Him.

And as we go, 

as we go out as a body

He is always with us.

Always

until the end of all days.

Shatered

Last night, my husband was putting the clean dishes away.
He must have been going too quickly...

One shattered across the kitchen.

Brokenness

Everywhere

Sharp edges all around.

I must have been going too fast today.
Just after my friend said, "Don't knock that art project over"
it shattered... across the kitchen floor.
little pieces all over...

Brokenness

Everywhere

Sharp edges all around.

Today... today was a "speed dial" kind of day.
The day took flight and hasn't stopped yet.

And I think...
Life is so FULL,
so round and full and pregnant-
with good things,

But the good things must shatter, and fall away
The good things must give way to the Best Thing
Each evening, to carve out...
to hollow out
to set aside...
time
holy time
together time
with family
and the maker and creator of all...

So that if you end up on speed dial for the day
And things shatter
You know who holds the pieces

Because that hollowed time
That time carved out
It pointed you back
And it isn't something easily forgotten
When it is a habit
A habit made holy
the redirecting
around the
shattered
broken
sharp places
The One who holds all of those broken places in your life
and brings healing
He holds your heart
seek him
in the dug out
carved out time
the time you make holy.

Warmth

  

The stars and stripes.

Plaids and x patterns 

red white and blue.  

It was the only fabric combinations fitting for a boy...

Of the free fabric... given with love.

Some of this particular fabric was difficult to work with... 

some stretched... some fraying...

Barely enough of one color...

Isn't that how life can be. 

Stretching

mingling..  cording together...

Threading together the unraveling bits of life... 

Stretching out - to meet two pieces together.  

Sometimes you wonder how it all holds together. 

There are 3 quilts now.

Three quilts to keep four bodies warm.

Warmth

Warmth for cold nights

Blistering, blustering cold nights.

It all started one weekend when a carload of fabric arrived home.

Christmas season had just ended.

The fabric was given, 

Old sheets combined with the love offering fabric, 

mingle to create warmth.

So this is the image...

The image of love sewn together.

Love poured out..

Warmth poured out...

Sewn together.

Colossians 3:12-14

12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

growth and memories

I was cleaning out a closet the other night.
Getting rid of things that are not needed anymore.
Organizing what is...


And I found it there... a midst the many items that are no longer used anymore.
A small small article of clothing...
Made for me by a dear friend.
Not a facebook friend...


A real live flesh and blood friend.
That's where I respect you the most...  in the realness of this world my friend...
in the mess of it all, just popping in and showing up.


She had made the pattern from clothing...
Clothing that was on a stuffed bear that was in her daughter's bedroom.

I was so scared...
My first child, he was so small...
They were taking him early, and we knew not why...
Just that my body wasn't supporting him like he needed.


I wondered how... if my body couldn't take care of him...
how would I be able to?


And then he came...
perfect in every way, but very small.


My friend made me three of these little outfits for him.
I was so excited!
Something that actually fit!
Something he could wear!
What a blessing.


And now...
the blessing pours out each day.
Almost a young man now.


I wonder what my Lord has in store for you son.
Cloth yourself in his righteousness...
Walk in His ways
His word as your light...


I watch you grow...

A miracle before my eyes.